HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George Bush: Condi ! Nice to see you. What's happening ?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China ?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman !
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for ?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China ?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name ?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China ?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir ? Yassir Arafat is in China ? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China ?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is ?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir ?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi ?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi ?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi ?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call ?
Condi: And call who ?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N ?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China ?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice ? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East ?
